The Player

So today in class I watched the film The Player directed by Robert Altman. The film follows the life of a film executive whose life runs into trouble when he has an encounter with a film critic. The starts with an amazing single shot that lasts about 4 minutes if I were to guess off the top of my mind. It is phenomenal to see where the camera starts and where it ends. Tim Robbins plays the main character and does a very chilling job. The film has an odd effect on me because I'm not sure I like it. I appreciate it because it deals with in the inside of the film industry, but I just am not a fan of Robert Altman's work. I understand he was a pioneer with Woody Allen and revolutionized his form of cinema, but that isn't my style. He loves doing very crowded scenes when many time the camera does not follow the person talking, but just a random object on screen. The camera moves side to side, with some long shots. Altman is telling a great story, but the film making style doesn't correlate with success of the story in my opinion. Many film critics, professors, and students would disagree, but that's their opinion. Mine is different. So if you want to see a great and interesting story about the inner workings of film, I highly recommend it. The camera style seems outdated, but that is Altman's trademark. I would probably need another viewing to analyze further. Take a chance on this film, it is interesting, it also includes many stars from the early 90s. Hope you enjoy if you watch it. Well so long to all, may your dreams come true.

What is Love?

What is love? That is a good question that everyone tries to answer. Even I myself wonder what it is. I can imagine through stories I've heard and things I've seen. The film Paper Heart tries to answer this question. The film follows Charlyne Yi, an eccentric comedic figure who plays herself in this documentary turned love story. Charlyne tries to answer the very question, what is love? By traveling cross country and interviewing many people. In the film she meets Michael Cera who is playing himself as well. The film chronicles the rise of Charlyne and Michael as a couple. It is hard to tell if this love is scripted, but I did some research, and they did date for three years, which could be the story behind this film. Quite possibly this could be real footage put together, but I do not know for certain. The film is full of interesting interviews from bikers to high school seniors who were just married. There are also staged animated reenactments of stories by the interviewees which are fun to watch. The film makes a just effort to find out what love is and I think they succeeded. I really enjoyed the film and would recommend it to everyone. Just to be clear though, it is set up in a documentary format, however, netflix classifies the film as an indie comedy which could mean for certain that it is a scripted film. I believe that it probably is a scripted film based off of the credits, but how it is filmed, you would not know for certain. Love is captured in this film. So watch the film and see if you agree or agree to disagree. Well so long to all, may your dreams come true.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1331064/

Stranger than Fiction

Stranger than Fiction starring Will Ferrell, Maggie, Gyllenhaal, Dustin Hoffman, Queen Latifah, and Emma Thompson. It was a brilliantly constructed film and very poetically told. There is something about this film that touched me in many ways. The camera work was phenomenally simple in shot telling. It provoked surreal feelings. I am just lost for words to describe this film. I really love it, and I think it was the greatest role of Will Ferrell's acting career mostly because he was able to show off his talents as an actor. I had heard good things about this film, but I was skeptical on seeing it, but now that I've seen it, I would recommend it to everyone. This film may seem odd and boring to some, but as an aspiring filmmaker and writer, the film enhanced my feelings for the art. Film is just an unreal medium that continues to make strides forward, along with steps backwards at times. I wish I could say more about this film, but I truly am lost for words. Maybe I'll sleep on it and come back with a better review of the film. So I will say so long to all, may your dreams come true.

Happy Ending

So I gave the whole idea of the "Hollywood happy ending" more thought after I wrote last night, and I must say that our society should be thankful for films that do this. The country has had major events occur in last decade that seeing good and happy ending on screen would provide that escape feeling. I will say that many times people get caught up in the whole reality of the happy ending in real life. Unfortunately, real life does not always provide that happy ending, but that is why we can turn to film. Besides the happy ending, many viewers sometimes get caught up in how moments occur in real life, such as a first kiss. In many movies, the first kiss is built up, with music, correct lighting, and the moment when it did not seem possible that it would occur. That is a film's portrayal, but in real life, the kiss would happen more spontaneously, in a random setting. There are many on screen examples of the notion of people getting caught up in this make believe phenomena. There are two particular examples that pop into my mind. The first is in an episode of That 70s Show. In that episode, Fez becomes intimate with a girl for the first time, and any fan of the show knows how long it took for Fez to make it that far. After the event takes place, Fez returns to tell the gang how it went. In his depiction of the event, he said things along the line that there was no music so I hummed. He ends up describing how he thought this event should have happened like a Hollywood film. Another example of this is in Woody Allen's film, The Purple Rose of Cairo. The movie ultimately is about how a character from a film within in the film comes out into real life. And many events happen, and all he can say is, this isn't how the movies portray it. And that is true, film is fictitious, real life does follow the same guidelines. If you haven't seen The Purple Rose of Cairo I highly recommend it. It stars Jeff Daniels (Dumb and Dumber) and is also one of Woody Allen's best films in my opinion. It may seem as though I am against the happy ending and film's way of dramatizing life's events at this point in my post, but that is not the case. I love the happy ending, I love how film's portray events. Look at it this way, films have to stylize events because there not as special on screen as they are in real life. Film/cinema is over a 110 years old now and there is no chance anytime soon that films will stop stylizing events the way they have been doing for decades. So enjoy films for what they are and keep some of these thoughts in your mind while viewing one. So again I will sign off as I typically do, so long to all, may your dreams come true.

You Should Know

So I was just thinking, it should be noted that I love films, obviously. And in many of the reviews I write, I talk about what I like about the film and what I did not like, and in many cases I ended up liking the film overall. That is true, in most cases I do like the film, it just ends up being a matter of how much I like the film. I try to find the good in every film and let you, the viewers, know what is good about each film. Every film deserves to be seen by someone, no matter how bad it may be, or offensive, and so on and so forth. Every film can find an audience and that's what I'm trying to do for each film I talk about. I'm trying to keep my analysis of the films simple, and trying to gauge interest of the viewers. I hope this made sense, and I guess it can be what I stand for. Well so long to all again, may your dreams come true.

CAN'T SLEEP

So I can honestly say that I can't sleep and it sucks. This has become a repetitive thing and is really annoying. Thoughts just roll through my mind like a never ending story. I just want to sleep. So i'll just say thoughts that pop in my mind. Twins lost again for the fourth straight time. I realize that they clinched the playoffs already, but seriously, be on a roll heading into the playoffs. Packers also lost tonight, but that is good, since the Vikings are not off to the best start. Tonight before bed I watched Changing Lanes starring Ben Affleck and Samuel L Jackson. The film was a large moral crisis and a decision between good and bad. What does someone do when they have leverage? Can they be the bigger man, and pick the wise choice, or be dumb and make a mistake? These questions were constantly running through my mind. The camera in the film was moving constantly, which was a positive in my opinion thinking back on it. I did like the film I can say that, but I think the moral battle really absorbed my mind. Decisions like this are constantly becoming the source of many films. They provoke ideas that most people never thought they would have to think about. I can use Dexter again as an example. How is that we humanize a serial killer and sympathize with the struggle he deals with every day. In other movies,  theres times when there is just a down right awful person, who the filmmaker makes the audience believe that something horrible should happen to them. This is just an odd realization for which films can do. Films hold so much power. Yes, they do harm sometimes to people, but they also bring a lot of good to people. The audiences in the United States should be happy that the "Hollywood happy ending" takes place in many or most films. It brings joy to know a happy outcome. In other countries, they show "real life," and that not every scenario has a happy ending. That is real life, but one aspect of a film that sometimes isn't accounted for or that many forget is that people use films as an escape whether good or bad. Feel good movies provide happiness to everyone. In many cases the happy ending is cheesy and very predictable, but think about your favorite movie, how does it end? Does it have the classic Hollywood ending? Is it a pleasant ending? Why do you like this film? I could honestly talk hours and hours about film, what I like, what I don't like, but there isn't enough time in the day. Television shows also provide an escape to an audience because week after week they tune in to see what happens in the lives of the characters. In my opinion, the best way to watch TV shows is on DVD  because for one, there is no commercials, and you can see what happens in the next episode instantly. I highly recommend Friends, Scrubs, That 70s Show, King of Queens, Home Improvement, Dexter, Entourage, The Office, Psych, How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory, White Collar, and NCIS. All of these are great shows and offer various types of entertainment. I suggest starting one of these series ASAP if you haven't already. Well I think I may have tired myself out, so I'll try to fall asleep. So I'll sign off as I usually do, so long to all, may your dreams come true.

top right corner

Top right corner. What does that mean? I'll tell you, it means I scored my first goal ever in soccer, and I do mean EVER. It only took me 16 years to finally accomplish that. I may have scored before, but this is the only one I recall. I spent so many years as goalie and as a midfielder who only wanted to pass. Today I finally scored though. Its a pretty great feeling I must say, and the goal keeps replaying in my mind. Pretty awesome feeling. Today I felt the song Me & Bobby McGee playing through the mind the whole day. I love that song, it is a solid one from the late Janis Joplin. She was a very unique and talented artist. The song was written by Kris Kristofferson. The line from the chorus, "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose, Nothing don't mean nothing honey if it ain't free." This line is a very powerful one and I really appreciate it every time I listen to it. Now on to movies. So last night I watched, Prince of Persia: Sands of Time. I had to say that I was actually excited to see it and see what would happen in this video game adaptation. I was thoroughly impressed. Jake Gyllenhaal  did a great job in the lead role. The camera in the film was very impressive because it captured the feeling of the video game. The shots were definitely more action oriented, which was good. The action scenes were very good, and got rolling right away in the film. Sir Ben Kingsley does a great job as the uncle as usual. I would definitely recommend the film if your in the mood for an action flick. It has a good fantasy twist. So go out and see it. I will say that the music in the film was a little off, the tone of every song made it seem like the film was about to end. It was always epic, which does not fit every scene in a film. And another statement about music, listen to Janis Joplin today. It is just great music. Well so long to all, may your dreams come true. 

Dexter

So the new season of Dexter began tonight, and all I can say is WOW. The show is phenomenal and every time I watch it, it sends shivers down my spine. How they capture human responses from a non human character is amazing. It has been amazing to see the character of Dexter evolve since the shows inception. This by far was the most crucial episode of the series thus far with what was at stake for Dexter. He showed he could handle it, even if he was a little late. I find it weird though in parallel with my life, that I feel right back where I need to be every time the new season of Dexter starts. I mean yes, I love How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory, and NCIS, but every time Dexter starts, life is back on track. This is weird in my opinion, but I feel great and that the organization of my life is start to get back in routine. To all you non-Dexter viewers who might be reading this, I would HIGHLY and I repeat HIGHLY recommend watching Dexter. The thought of supporting a serial killer may be alarming, but come on, he's America's favorite serial killer. The show deals with the disparity of a man who must learn how to belong and conform to society while keeping a side job that keeps his sanity. All of the elements of the show, amaze me and fellow viewers world wide. And back in response to tonight's episode, it was amazing to see the return of star Michael C. Hall after his battle with Hodgkin's lymphoma while the show was on hiatus. He got right into the action, and showed another side of Dexter we had not yet seen. This season is only just beginning, but another legendary adventure that is Dexter will unfold. Well so long to all, may your dreams come true.

craziness is like heaven

Craziness is like heaven. This is a quote from a Jimi Hendrix poster in my room. I never quite understood what it was trying to say until this past summer. Coming from a large family, things are always crazy. I can honestly say that there is never a dull moment. So from that perspective is that I love the craziness that surrounds my life. I love being busy and always moving around and being surrounded by plenty of people. The craziness is awesome. However, I do not like large crowds because I feel uncomfortable and trapped. The the craziness in life has a line that I try not to cross. Last night I had a little jam session with my guitar, I'm terrible to be quite honest, but it was fun nonetheless. I even managed to make a little riff that sounded pretty cool. Maybe I could incorporate some of my poems as lyrics. That is what I ultimately want to do. I would love to be a musician since  I'm so inspired by pioneers. I think I've said that before, but it is very true and something that is personal to me. Last night I watched two movies, Date Night and Wolfman. I thought Date Night was pretty good, but nothing special. Steve Carrel and Tina Fey did a great job, but the overall plot did not live up to my expectations as a sold funny movie. There were a lot of famous actors spread throughout the film such as Ray Liotta, James Franco, and Mila Kunis. A lot of the camera shots throughout the film also looked as though they were using a green screen because the depth on screen was off. The shots while they are in times square are the shots in particular that were weird. Overall, I would recommend this movie as a mediocre comedy, but with a solid cast, it is fun to watch without high expectations. Now to the other movie, Wolfman. For some reason I had a draw to this film even though I had heard negative reviews. The trailers for the film made it seem like it would use the approach of Jaws and play up the fierceness of the the wolf but not showing it frequently on camera. However, this was not the case, They showed the wolfman a lot throughout the film. I do respect the decision not to make most of the wolfman cgi animated. There were other instances in the film that used cgi animations for animals and it was very cheesy. The wolfman was pretty good though. It still looked fake, but it is hard to make a solid wolfman. The acting in the film was great. Benicio Del Toro did a great job as the lead, and Anthony Hopkins was a great casting decision. Emily Blunt played the female lead and she did a great job as well. The use of camera shots was exceptional in the film so I appreciated that.  Overall, I would recommend this film. Its not really scary or anything, but they hold true to the original wolfman story of the original film. So go out and see this movie, its not too bad. I think I have rambled on for long enough now. Well so long to all, may your dreams come true.

Hike

So today I went on a hike. It was a very fun and relaxing time. I walked the paths, took some pictures, and just really enjoying the beginning of fall. Fall has to be one of my favorite seasons. Its so peaceful. It took me away from all the things that had absorbed my mind. I felt at ease for a change and it was a nice change of pace. I wish I were down in Winona though so I could hike the bluffs at St. Mary's because that is truly amazing. Jack White of the White Stripes truly is a once in a lifetime musician for all that he does. A great example of his talent is Icky Thump, its alternative, hard rock does not sound well to some, but if you give it a chance, you will love it. Also today, I was made aware of a love for something. That is awesome because people actually see that. I'm not always clear in that regard so for someone to understand what I feel is great for me. That is all I can think of for now, plus I'm watching the rockumentary, It Might Get Loud, starring Jack White, Jimmy Page, and the guitar player from U2. Well so long to all, may your dreams come true.

Psychoanalysis and Film Theory

So I just came up with the idea to write about this when I was in class because it was what we were talking about. People don't realize how in depth the film discussion is, it teaches us to analyze things on a deeper level. Humans repress desire, pain in order to function. The unconscious is our repository of repressed desire and painful memories. These quotes alone explain a lot of things about myself and other people. There are so many times when I feel off or feel an emotional pain and I honestly don't know why. The only way I feel better is if I can pinpoint what exactly is wrong. Many times I can do that, and many times I can't. Just refreshing my mind of psychoanalytic theory makes me feel better because it explains some things. Our film habits say something about our repressed desires. This is a bold statement, but it is so true. Why is it that we are called to wanna watch a particular film? Why do we like a particular genre? It obviously says something. I should be paying attention to what I'm watching now since I average between one and three movies a day. And yes that's a lot, but the escapism that is films is amazing. I love getting lost in a good story. Film is the easy version of a book, but in film, the camera can show the viewer so much more. It is a great example of voyeurism and scopophilia . Which is looking at something that your not supposed to be or an obsession to seeing things to provoke excitement. That can describe a film. This whole subject is very interesting me because I love thinking deep and I get inspiration from these types of things to write poems, screenplays, or just a short story. Writing is therapy, I highly recommend it to everyone. Make a blog, don't need to make it public for the world to see, but it can be a diary for the modern day/age. So besides talking about this is in class, we watched the film, Fargo. I will have to admit that it was my first time viewing it and the first thought that pops in my mind is that the accents were TERRIBLE, they were way over exaggerated. You would think Joel and Ethan Coen, who are from MN, would allow such a terrible accent. Second thought I would like to say is that even though the beginning says that it was a true story, that is a blatant lie. That is a ridiculous thing to do in a film to straight out do that. Other than that, the story was pretty messed up, I don't really know how I feel about it. The accent was too distracting for me to critique the rest of the acting. Frances McDormand won best actress for this film, which is great, but I did not see it. The accent kind of ruined the whole film. That is my mini review. And now that is all I have for now. So long to all, may your dreams come true.

Twins WIN!!

Yes the Twins win. I can tell you that this is the year we return to the world series. It is unbelievable how well the season has gone considering all that has happened. Orlando Hudson and JJ Hardy have spent two times a piece on the disabled list, Justin Morneau has been out since July, our bench is a never ending circle of players, and the rotation has had its share of soreness. The year has been phenomenal. Jim Thome is the MVP of this years team,  he brought his humbleness and big stick to Minnesota and let me tell you, I'm very thankful for that. In the first year of Target Field, the year has been memorable. Most of the players have had great success at home. Mid-season call up Danny Valencia has made his mark which I'm glad to see because it has been a long time since Minnesota has had a steady third baseman since Corey Koskie left. Valencia has been a large contributor and I hope he can continue to provide the strength on the field. It's amazing that I've gotten this far down and haven't even said Joe Mauer's name. What more can you say about the guy? He is truly a once in a lifetime player. And its awesome that he is homegrown talent. I think a lot of the success of this season can be credited to Carl Pavano's mustache. It is the perfect stache. So as the Twins storm into the postseason, let them continue the success of the year and win one for Minnesota and Target Field.

My Poetic Year Part 3

So here is the final poems that I have written this past year that I am wiling to share:

Compass? Or West?
I hear this voice inside my head,
Saying I need to leave this place.
It does more damage than good these days.
I need to start all over, a new name, a new goal.
Moving doesn't solve everything, but I've felt this way for a long time and I need to get out of this place.
Broaden my horizon, let the sun shine through again.
The dust has piled up on this place.
I can hardly see what it used to be, my heart, thats what.
My family should join me in my move, I need to know someone, otherwise I will be alone, and right where I am now.
I wish I could shut this off.
I had everything, but thats not what I wanted.
I wanted a challenge, something to be proud of, but look where it got me.
I wish I could turn back around and things were the same at age eight, and that smile lit up the world.
We were young and restless, but we had a dream, not knowing at the time that I would want to leave and that has become my dream.
So as I sit and ponder, should I head west?

What's Left of Me
My body is light, hair messed up, I look like I've been through hell.
Thats what's left of me.
A journey I took, lead me astray, now I'm looking to get back home. Where is that? Do I have enough strength to get there? Whats left of me?
The journey is long and painful, what else is new?
A journey that a man could be proud of, get me back together, put the pieces together.
I know who I was but I've lost who I am. Whats left of me?
As the gray sky lies overhead, it brings the feeling of cold, which chills my body.
There's not a lot of me to create heat, help, I need heat.
What's left of me? Bring the pieces together and solve this mess I've made.

So that is the final poem I wrote. Like I said they come from personal and witnessed experience, I like to place deeper meaning in all of my words. There is a story in all of these poems, most, happier than what they sound. I draw inspiration from everything around me, I look at the words written by the late Jim Morrison and  Kurt Cobain, who in their own right, were poets. I'm not looking for the fame that came to them, because neither ended well for both. Writing is a form of therapy, my thoughts on paper help relax me. I've always been able to write how I feel compared to actually speaking it out loud. Now you know. Hope you enjoyed them. Well so long to all, may your dreams come true.

My Poetic Year Part 2

Here continues my flurry of poems:

Dreams
Gotta have dreams,
they're the key to life.
Without the dream,
there's nothing worth fighting for.
Don't ever let anyone tell you your not good enough,
or that its not possible.
If that's the case, then their not your real friend.
Go show them whose wrong in the real world.
Sometimes there is things that get in your way,
but no hurdle is too big.
If you have family on your side,
you can do anything,
if you have friends on your side,
you can do anything,
and if your blessed to have the love of a great woman,
fly to the heavens and thank God.
Dreams are meant to be achieved.
So get off your butt and get it.
Give me time.
There's only so much waiting a man can do.
So get on that train,
and start living the life you want.
And leave behind those who don't believe in you.
No one can tell you who you're supposed to be,
be who you want to be.


Love
Love is a feeling I've never experienced, but have always desired.
Sometimes I put too much pressure on myself to find the one while other times I think I know the one.
It sucks to see the one you want in her own love, but maybe its just not meant to be.
No one really knows exactly what love is, but everyone can explain those same feelings:
Jitters before every date, willing to drop everything for them, and do anything in reach to see them smile.
It's great to see love.
And one day my day will come.
Drop the pressure, it only hurts.
There is no deadline to find it.
It's happens when it happens.
I only wish that after so long, I have the look in my eye for my love that I see in my parents eyes for each other.
Love is word that may be hard to say, but easy to feel.
Let someone in and you'll be walking on water.
Love has everything to do with everything.


Why Must Good Things Come to an End
Why must good things come to an end?
It breaks me up inside and gives me the awful pain.
Things should be meant to last and never come to an end.
You got love and life.
You got TV and music.
Even movies get you all caught up in them.
I just can't shake this gut awful feeling.
What will rid me of the feeling?
Find something that is guaranteed to last.
Nothing is guaranteed and what is up with that?
Things should continue or go on. You must embrace and get lost in those dreams.
Good things should last and its only you that can make it happen.
Good things are great.
Great things are amazing.


Blues
The blues are amazing.
You can feel the emotion with the strum of every chord.
Each note rings with pure passion.
It may not be everyone's cup of tea.
But how can you hear the music and not feel emotionally enticed in it.
To some its an aged genre, while to others its a whole new world.
The music brings out the depths of the human soul and truly shows how it means to feel.
And the best part is that through the lack of verbal words, but through the words of the emotions of each note.
The poetic embodiment the music portrays is an uplifting experience for the human ear.
And you just hope for acceptance.
You may not have to get it, you may not have to like it, but what you need is to appreciate it.

Blow

I never could quite understand this

I never knew I felt

The feeling that is built inside

Like a bomb set to explode

The reverse of a butterfly,

With my life about to hit the sky

A blow in the stomach,

Feels like a kick in the brain,

A sting in the heart

Lost all what mattered

What’s left to see?

I don’t know the outcome of this line

I’d like to say I had a time machine,

To go back in time.

Erase this moment

So we could be our way

But that can’t happen,

Thanks to you.

A blow in the stomach,

Feels like a kick in the brain,

A sting in the heart.

Lost what mattered

What’s left to see?

I’ve collapsed in this desert

I need help up

Be that crutch,

That I wished she’d been,

Why must the knife hurt so bad

Take away the pain

And let me live my life

A blow in the stomach,

Feels like a kick to the brain,

A sting in the heart

Lost what I thought mattered

What’s ahead of me

I walk this line,

I don’t turn back around

For the hell of it will reach me

Get away and be gone

Let me live my life

Just let me live my life

Release me

Thank you.

I can live my life, be free.

I’m free.

Smile
I saw you standing there, I knew I loved you again, But how was I supposed to tell you, we've been down this road before, this time could be different.
A smile says a million different things, this time not all good. I show support, but all you see is superficial. Whats in a smile? Smile?
That day when you got that friend, I was hurt beyond belief. I couldn't let you know because that wouldn't be fair. All I want is your happiness, but my smile is fading, it is sliding.
A smile says a million different things, this time is says I'm happy for you, I wish you all the best, but I'm hurt deep down inside. Superficial feelings is all you see, just ask, look.
I can't talk to you for a time, I make up a poor excuse, but that is not good enough. I know I love you now. I do wish your happiness, but at what cost to me.
A smile says a million things.This time its happy, but for what you can see beneath the superficial. Finally, I love you.
The smile is real, your done, I can't get over what happened. I hurt inside, I only sit and ponder because I don't know exactly what happened.
Can we get together, I love you, I want you, Your everything to me, the most beautiful girl I know, but I need to get over these hurt feelings. I feel trapped, I need to be let free inside.
What needs to happen, I need help. Help me, I want to feel love, I want to feel your love.
A smile can mean a million different things, can't it be good just this time?

Love and Life
At the beginning she is a piece of life.
As your passion and fondness grows larger, she becomes part of life.
As the feelings of love grasps the heart, she becomes your life.

F You
People would think I'm depressed, but I'm not.
I'm just lost look for myself.
I thought I knew who I was and what I wanted, but that is no longer true.
I like to make my adventure fun.
Catch some baseball games and drink a few.
The inspiration comes from all over, in bad and in good.
The writing is better than the wishing.
I'm so ready to achieve something.
A writer in the mind, but a poet in the heart.
The love I feel gets stronger everyday.
Don't know where its going, but i'll know soon.
Wishing is a disease, it eats at you, and you have lost what you were.
But if you fight, you'll find what your looking for at the least expecting movement.
I just need to get up from this chair, I've sat dormant for too long.
I must be active and seek out joy.
I know its there, I've heard about it.
People all around me have it, and I typically have it but I lost it for awhile.
Love the way you live, otherwise nothing is going to matter

My Poetic Year

So here is a compilations of poems I had wrote between November 2009 to as recent as September 16, 2010, a few days ago. I can admit some may seem depressing, but if you only knew the story behind each, you would know the happy ending to all. This is my way of expressing feelings and opinions that for so long I held inside.

Every Girl I've Ever Loved
How is it that things can be so great,
then all of a sudden you can't even say hi?
How can a change occur in a matter of a minute,
without anything ever being said?
Why does it all turn into a game?
Do you even know what you did to me?
All I cared about was our friendship,
but you thought I wanted more.
Did you ever stop to think that just seeing you meant the world?
Texts are too impersonal,
why can't you get that?
I travel on hours to see the people I care about,
but you can't even fit me into your schedule.
Why do you do that to me?
Should I even trust you anymore.
Are you a best friend anymore?
Time will tell


Change
I don't like change,
it jumbles all things inside.
Sometimes its to deal with.
Other times you just wanna cry.
What's the point of feeling this way?
How do I get over it?
Maybe I should be talking to a therapist,
maybe I should be talking to a friend.
Change is the hardest part of growing up.
Gotta learn to deal with it if your gonna make it.
Set the support system.
Some things aren't always meant to stay the same,
so you have to deal with change.
Grow up! Get up! Get going!
Have faith that God will help you out.
Change is another word for different,
different isn't necessarily bad,
different is just different.

The Exorcist

So currently I am watching the original Exorcist. This is the all time horror film. I must say I love to watch classics from all genres. It fascinates me what can be done with the horror genre. In many cases, horror films tend not to be scary, but more jumpy which I would classify as a thriller. I'm not trying to put horror films down in any way, but there are many cases when I am just not scared and the stories get ridiculous. There are some horror films that jump out at me though: The Exorcist, The Amityville Horror (2005), and The Silence of the Lambs. One film that is classified as horror, The Village by M. Night Shyamalan is a good movie, but not in the horror genre. I believe that the film had a great message and had deep meaning but was told in the wrong format. I could talk for hours on genres, what I like, what I dislike, but I shouldn't bore quite yet. In my life today, I frolfed and studied film. Sounds like a boring day to most, but great to me. I love to just hang back and chill, but I do feel like I cut myself off from the world which I shouldn't do. I had a good day, but the feeling of being cut off doesn't sit well. I did realize that this summer I may pack up for a month and head out on the open road and see where it takes me. The book and film Into the Wild really inspire me to take a journey, to find what is important, to know who I am. I mean I know who I am, but living life on the open road for awhile and hiking and being out in the world sounds like heck of a good time. The mind is an interesting tool and program because I started this by talking about horror and am finishing up with a cross country trip. Interesting in deed. Well I must return to my film. So long to all, may your dreams come true.

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

So I just watched the film, Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. To most who do not know the name, it was the late Heath Ledger's last role, the one he sadly passed away during. It was a magnificent role, but one that could disturb the mind. After all, many conspiracy theorists originally believed that Ledger's death was in part due to the disturbing role of the Joker he played in The Dark Knight. However, after viewing this film and reading articles relating to it, it seems like this role played a tremendous role in his mental state. The film should be credited to the brilliance of director Terry Gilliam, a Minnesota native. He lost his star, three-quarters of the the way through production and the films conclusion laid in the balance. Then in stepped Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Collin Farrel to complete the role. They did a fantastic job finishing the film, and that again should be credited to the brilliance of Terry Gilliam because he had to rewrite the story according to the footage he had with Ledger. The film is ultimately amazing aesthetic beauty in fantasy. The world created is unlike any else, and constantly keeps the mind on edge.  The cardboard cuts out, the elaborate worlds, and the world of Doctor Parnassus played an extreme message in the battle between heaven and hell which is an underlying element of the film. The film will definitely will be remembered as the late Heath Ledgers last  role and the kindness and generosity of Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Collin Farrel as they finished the role and gave the money they earned from filming to Ledger's daughter, Matilda. The film will also be remembered for the crazy world that Terry Gilliam creates and the scenery throughout the film. So overall, I would recommend the screening of the film for what it will be remembered for, Heath Ledger, etc. However, the story  is difficult to follow, but with close attention it makes sense... after awhile. So go out and see this film, but be in a mode to pay close attention to detail and wallop in the aesthetic beauty of the scene. Well so long to all, may your dreams come true.

Clarity

So today the opening will be a word, clarity. I wanted to choose some of the lyrics from John Mayer's song, but none of them I felt pertained to me. Today I had the overwhelming feeling of clarity. It was awesome. I finally received some of answers I have been looking for. I now know that I can be done with school after this year and still manage to achieve all that I planned to do. I can teach film studies and film making to high school students which is awesome. I will thoroughly enjoy that I believe. The day overall just provided clarity, again my word of the day. It brings out a poem in me:

Clarity
When the world is spinning,
and you can't figure out which way to go,
You seek clarity.
The feeling is spontaneous,
a jump of glee.
To know where your headed,
So there's no need to turn back.
The path behind is dark,
So keep looking forward.
Clarity is standing there

That poem had to be the first happy sounding one I've written in awhile. That is good. I hope to check back later and provide a movie review of somethings I'll watch here shortly. Well so long to all, may your dreams come true.

Raise the Bar

Cause I'm raising the bar, I shoot for the moon. This is a quote I took out of Eminem's "I'm not afraid." I'm gonna use it out of his context, but the words are great nonetheless. These words represent dreaming. A dream is not always attainable, but always worth trying for. Anyone can have the drive to succeed. I have multiple massive dreams that I hope to reach, and in my opinion will reach. Today kinda sucked though because the vikings lost and it was a terrible game. The twins also lost which sucks. They need to keep shrinking the magic number. And to be more random, my frolfing today was not too good, but better than the last two days. The other day I fell in a pond trying to fetch a disc. Quite embarrassing I would say, especially when my three year old brother laughs at me, but that also made my day at the same time because he's three, and laughing at me. Anyways, I'm surprised I used a quote from a rap song considering how anti-rap I am. But the words spoke to me. Tis interesting that I'm not feeling the rest of this like I typically am, so i'll just be gone. Well so long to all, may your dreams come true.

My Fault

So this poem just came to me while I was trying to fall asleep and I figured I better write it down or else I would not have slept all night. It truly amazes me, what can come to a person at any point during a day. Well here it goes, hope you enjoy.

My Fault
The anger I feel is my fault,
I have come to realize that.
I've put you on a pedestal,
And expected too much,
It's a new world, I know that.
The anger I feel is petty to most,
But it is fueled by love.
Love is passionate.
It keeps my life running,
And that's not a good thing always.
Don't get me wrong,
I wanna love,
I do love,
but I need to be careful.
I should probably take you down from that pedestal.
You're just an ordinary person to most,
but nonetheless, special to me.
I always wish you the best,
You deserve the best,
I am the BEST.
I'm not expecting the classic Hollywood ending,
But I can dream.
And ultimately, that is what I will do.

Hope you enjoyed, this is the first poem I've let the world see, it may seem depressing, but I write from personal experience, along with witnessed experience. Well so long to all, may your dreams come true.

LA

I dont think I'm going to go to LA anymore. not really sure that I ever could.... What more to say about this quote. It is a very brilliant quote from a very brilliant artist, John Mayer. This quote represents me. It represents what I wanted and where I'm headed. I thought I was on my way to LA, but I'm not sure where thats where I wanna go. I'm on a course to follow multiple dreams; ones I hope to succeed and believe I will succeed in. Ambitions are my drive. If you haven't caught on by now, this blog is to represent me and things I encounter throughout any particular day. I love music, I heard this song once today, and I just knew it meant something. I wish I was at school so I could publish my poems, but they will be up soon enough. I have a passion for this writing business. Random thoughts will also fill this blog. Twins won today, good game, Valencia rocked it. I saw Resident Evil Afterlife 3D- surprisingly, never having seen any of the previous films and/or played the game,- it was pretty good. I enjoyed it, and would even recommend it, though the story is quite predictable. That should be kinda assumed to any movie goer, not even a film student, considering the genre. This is fun to write, I'll try to provide extended reviews in upcoming posts as well as the poems as promised. Well so long to all, may your dreams come true.